How to Forgive

If forgiveness was easy, we’d all be doing it. We would find peace in our lives like never before. Unfortunately, It’s easier to hold on to anger – in a sense – than to process our emotions and make a choice to forgive someone.

I wish I knew the code, or the recipe on how to forgive. I don’t. Instead it’s this messy and heavy thing that has been eating away at me for longer than I want to admit. I am ashamed about how long I have let this continue in my heart. I am also ashamed of it because I have projected my rage and hurt onto someone else. Instead of dealing with it responsiblyย I have placed my insecurities and poison onto someone else. I know how wrong that is.

This is hard to admit. No one wants to be grudge-bearing and bitter. But I am. Someone pointed out to me that forgiveness needs to be done without expecting validation from the other person. It does not come with conditions. I have made a grocery-list of conditions in my head and have been angry each time an item has been missed. I have allowed my bitterness and heartache to isolate myself. I have put ultimatums out in the universe as a basis of my forgiveness. this is not how forgiveness works.


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The truth is I don’t know how to forgive, forget or move forward. But if I don’t do it for myself now, I will never be able to be the person I want to be. It is completely human to make mistakes, life is flawed and constantly shifting. I am grateful for that, through all the pain andย hurt we cause each other, the most amazing grace we can show is forgiveness.


Forgiveness is a simple concept but I’m not too sure the process is at all uncomplicated. I just want to breathe freely and live hopefully. I don’t want this weighing on my chest for a second longer. I need to forgive others and I need to forgive myself.

With a heavy heart, I can only hope that experience will contribute to my growth as a compassionate and conscious person. I hope this makes me better.


To forgive is love, to love is to respect.


P.s. I am always here.


ย If you need help in forgiving others, here are some articles for you:

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