If forgiveness was easy, we’d all be doing it. We would find peace in our lives like never before. Unfortunately, It’s easier to hold on to anger – in a sense – than to process our emotions and make a choice to forgive someone.
I wish I knew the code, or the recipe on how to forgive. I don’t. Instead it’s this messy and heavy thing that has been eating away at me for longer than I want to admit. I am ashamed about how long I have let this continue in my heart. I am also ashamed of it because I have projected my rage and hurt onto someone else. Instead of dealing with it responsibly I have placed my insecurities and poison onto someone else. I know how wrong that is.
The truth is I don’t know how to forgive, forget or move forward. But if I don’t do it for myself now, I will never be able to be the person I want to be. It is completely human to make mistakes, life is flawed and constantly shifting. I am grateful for that, through all the pain and hurt we cause each other, the most amazing grace we can show is forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a simple concept but I’m not too sure the process is at all uncomplicated. I just want to breathe freely and live hopefully. I don’t want this weighing on my chest for a second longer. I need to forgive others and I need to forgive myself.
With a heavy heart, I can only hope that experience will contribute to my growth as a compassionate and conscious person. I hope this makes me better.
To forgive is love, to love is to respect.
P.s. I am always here.