Musings

How to Forgive

If forgiveness was easy, we’d all be doing it. We would find peace in our lives like never before. Unfortunately, It’s easier to hold on to anger – in a sense – than to process our emotions and make a choice to forgive someone.

I wish I knew the code, or the recipe on how to forgive. I don’t. Instead it’s this messy and heavy thing that has been eating away at me for longer than I want to admit. I am ashamed about how long I have let this continue in my heart. I am also ashamed of it because I have projected my rage and hurt onto someone else. Instead of dealing with it responsiblyย I have placed my insecurities and poison onto someone else. I know how wrong that is.

This is hard to admit. No one wants to be grudge-bearing and bitter. But I am. Someone pointed out to me that forgiveness needs to be done without expecting validation from the other person. It does not come with conditions. I have made a grocery-list of conditions in my head and have been angry each time an item has been missed. I have allowed my bitterness and heartache to isolate myself. I have put ultimatums out in the universe as a basis of my forgiveness. this is not how forgiveness works.

 

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The truth is I don’t know how to forgive, forget or move forward. But if I don’t do it for myself now, I will never be able to be the person I want to be. It is completely human to make mistakes, life is flawed and constantly shifting. I am grateful for that, through all the pain andย hurt we cause each other, the most amazing grace we can show is forgiveness.

 

Forgiveness is a simple concept but I’m not too sure the process is at all uncomplicated. I just want to breathe freely and live hopefully. I don’t want this weighing on my chest for a second longer. I need to forgive others and I need to forgive myself.

With a heavy heart, I can only hope that experience will contribute to my growth as a compassionate and conscious person. I hope this makes me better.

 

To forgive is love, to love is to respect.

 

P.s. I am always here.

 

ย If you need help in forgiving others, here are some articles for you:
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