Musings

Only connect

Life would hold no meaning without the connections we make along the way. Each word and affection given and taken leaves us forever changed. I guess that is why it is so important to make sure that the people we let into our world are the people who inspire and teach us beautiful lessons about life and ourselves. In that way, we have the power over our own happiness and the direction we decide is best for us.

Each person we love cuts deeper than the last, cracking us open in ways we never thought about. Each person we care about pulls something out from us. Every new person who grabs our hearts will end up finding parts of us we didnโ€™t know about.

Most of the time this process fucking hurts. We are pulled and torn apart by someone who is only curious and wants to understand. Even as we tell them that we donโ€™t yet understand ourselves, they keep digging. We are not always ready for someone to find all the corners of our complexities and we reject it. We say no and we avoid opening ourselves up. But this too is a practice that hurts. Lack of meaningful connections in life can result in unsatisfied and unfulfilled hearts. So do we find middle ground? Do we preserve ourselves and talk about the weather? Do we open ourselves up at every opportunity and revel in the new discoveries we make about others and ourselves? I wish I knew the answer, because each route has its own obstacles. There is no easy way to live life.

But I know that I need to connect. I crave connections and meaningful conversations. I long for the soul-searching and unearthing of new facets of myself. I suppose that I can take the absolute obliteration of my heart at times if it means I get to connect with those that I love.

It is as though each relationship is playing us a song written and composed by our very souls that we never imagined we would hear. Sometimes, we do not like the song and we begin to resent the relationship and the person for bringing it to our attention. Sometimes the song is beautiful, and the notes and harmonies are perfectly matched. Sometimes the song is only beautiful to the person it belongs to and not the person who drew it out of them. Thatโ€™s okay too. As long as each song leaves us with a better understanding of life and love and hope and loss.

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