You seem as though you are lacking in self-confidence lately. You keep shying away from the issue and instead you just isolate yourself even more and hope for the best. However, isolation has NEVER been the best thing for anyone.
I know your need encouragement now, and you need it from me the most. Why? Because I love you, and I know your heart and I know your insecurities and I don’t ever want you to feel inadequate. It also never really sinks in when somebody else tries to.
You have never been inadequate, no matter how much you think it or let this thought weigh on you. As long as you acknowledge your failures and still keep going, you win. You’ve doubted your goodness, yes everyone has some bad in them, but you have so much good. Don’t you dare let anybody make you feel otherwise.
You’re smart; you’ve always been a thinker and a worrier. Just because you enjoy observing from the corner doesn’t mean you always should. Your mind is great, but you don’t have to take life so seriously all of the time. Let your hair loose, you’re young and its okay to make stupid mistakes every once in a while.
I know that you never expected things to turn out the way they have, but that’s the way it is. Life is still going to beat your ass to the next Sunday at every opportunity. If you let this affect you this way every time you might as well sit on the sidelines now. You might as well let go of your dreams, and hide away in your room. You might as well give up, and that’s never been a good trait of yours.
Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be upset or angry, but I think its time to stop being so sensitive. You let these things throw you off track and then you cry because the train has stopped.
Your emotions have always been such an amazing part of you, but you cannot ALWAYS let them get the best if you.
I’m sorry we haven’t spoken in such a long time. But I need you to know that I love you and I think you are pretty phenomenal. You have come so far, and you have followed your heart every step of the way. Keep stepping; it really is an incredible journey.
Life is not meaningless, and tedious and all the other depressing stories you have been telling yourself. It’s here, and its grabbing you by the horns instead of the other way around. Take charge, hold your own and don’t let anybody break your spirit. It’s too beautiful to break.
Lots of love,