Musings

depression, you bastard.

Your feet feel as though they could be chained to the ground, you feel hopeless and worthless. You want to scream but you have no energy, imagine how nice it would be to just sleep through these feelings. Tempting. Getting out from under the covers in the morning feels impossible and going to bed terrifies you because you will be alone with your thoughts, again. The people around you are just noise, you want the quiet but you know your mind wont follow suit, depression, you bastard.

But if we truly think about this, depression could be the best thing to ever happen to us. Operative word here is ‘could’. Depression is dangerous, however, so is driving a car and driving a car gets us places too. I think its one of the most poignant moments in somebody’s life. We all experience hardship and moments where our coping skills are lacking or we’re just exhausted and our resources have been depleted. It is intimidating, isolating and dark and just about the worst feeling in the world. But it is also inspiring, eye-opening and soul twisting.

If you want to truly find yourself, you need to break open so you can fully explore every little individual piece. Once again I will reiterate how serious suicide is, how unglamorous this process is and how dangerous it is. That said; if we use this depressive state to our advantage and let it draw out a creative aspect within us, motivate us or build some kind of strength inside us, it could be life altering.

Depression changes us in the most profound and interesting way. We somehow become more compassionate and understanding if we don’t let it make us bitter, it makes us more affectionate if we don’t let it isolate us and, we become a lot more resilient to daily life if we can overcome it.

The goal is to not let this period of dejection and despair steal away our precious and limited time. It is not by any means a definition of our character and personality. It does not make us less of a person, ungrateful or useless. Life will become colourful again, our interests will become interesting and we will feel the motivation to succeed and the energy to participate. This is a means to an end, it is not in vain, and it is not a worthless fight. But it is a fight, it is something we need to battle, it is an inner demon.

Depression is beautiful and valuable, not only because it teaches us about ourselves and others but because it builds character and restores faith in ourselves. We should never doubt our ability to succeed, we should never doubt our susceptibility to at some point encounter depression and we should never doubt that we could feel at peace once again.

We will realise how much we have to live for and, how much we can still achieve and, how much we can still love.

 

Are you depressed?

If you identify with several of the following signs and symptoms, and they just won’t go away, you may be suffering from clinical depression.

You can’t sleep or you sleep too much

You can’t concentrate or find that previously easy tasks are now difficult

You feel hopeless and helpless

You can’t control your negative thoughts, no matter how much you try

You have lost your appetite or you can’t stop eating

You are much more irritable, short-tempered, or aggressive than usual

You’re consuming more alcohol than normal or engaging in other reckless behavior

You have thoughts that life is not worth living (seek help immediately if this is the case) – Helpguide.org

If you or someone you know is in emotional distress or suffering from an eating disorder, self harm issues, or suicidal thoughts, please know that help is available.
Please click to learn more about confidential counseling and a list of services that may be able to help:http://weheartit.com/help/prevention-resources.

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