Let me share with you a little piece of my mind, as I have given into not using it so often anymore. There are parts of us that every so often disappear. When and if they will return is anybody’s guess.
We lose parts of ourselves for various reasons, unhappiness, growth, and heartbreak and sometimes even with no reason at all. Sometimes we are so caught up in things that we hardly even notice what has changed whether it’s good or whether it will deter us.
The Four Stages of Grief
I have this theory that even though we grieve for people, we grieve for loved ones that have passed but in a way we also grieve for ourselves. The lost bits and pieces that force us into change.
I have not lost who I am, I am quite aware of my being and surroundings and I’m quite okay. I have confidence in myself, my belief system works for me and therefor I am fine. This is just how I am; I’ve always been like this.
I can’t believe this is happening to me. What is going on with me? I’m a nice person; I always try to be as considerate to those around me so why am I behaving like this? Nobody understands me. I’m alone in this and I can’t talk to anyone about my feelings.
This is so hard. I don’t deserve to feel like this. Why cant things just stay the same? I’m sick and tired of my bad luck, things never go my way and I try so hard. People are so difficult. I never want to trust anybody again. I want to be left alone. I’m always getting let down. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.
Although I haven’t reached this point, I’m sure it’s pretty peaceful. Perhaps including lines about self-love and how change is good. Change is good. I do need to love myself everyday, unconditionally. I have reached a milestone and I should be proud of how far I have come.
This is very difficult to be so open and honest about, and even more so for my loved ones to read this. But this is where I am.
Songs of The Day:
My Blood – Ellie Goulding
Maybe I’m Just Tired – As Tall As Lions
Why am I the one? – Fun.
Don’t Leave – Ane Brun
Evil – Interpol