I want to live inspired, intoxicated by my surroundings

“Well I’ve been sitting, waiting, wishing….” I’ve been doing this for far too long.  I’ve been hoping and waiting on my dreams and desires. I’ve been wishing for some sort of resolution for it all. I never wanted this for myself, I didn’t expect myself to be as independent as I am now, but I also wanted to still be youthful and reckless. How conflicting are these two characters in me? The girl who wants to settle down and have a career and the girl who wants to wake up in a different city or place every couple of weeks living without anything tying her down. These two girls want one thing: happiness.

Ultimately, I want the best of both worlds. The career driven; people pleaser and the free-spirited; reckless individual love each other but they are fed by different things. They are proud of each other but they do not feel at the same time. I think it’s quite clear which girl I prefer being.

This for me is the ultimate balance of my notions and ideals and the reality that I live every other day. I gave in to my responsible side for so long that I forgot how to laugh and I forgot how to feel it. My life was spinning and I felt too defeated to catch up. Of course I want what’s best for my future but I also want to be enlightened and aware of the world around me.

I’m tired of sitting and waiting and wishing. I want to live inspired, intoxicated by my surroundings, captivated by the people I surround myself with and happy. And that is exactly what I’m going to pursue. Myself.

Songs of the Day:

The Neighbourhood – Sweater Weather

Macabbees – Toothpaste Kisses

Florence and The Machine – Spectrum

The Careful Ones – To Love Somebody

Arctic Monkeys – R U Mine?

Blood – Middle East

Work Drugs – Tourist Heart

Fleet Foxes – Blue Spotted Tail


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