Musings · uncategorised

I feel old and young

I’ve come to a disheartening realisation that travel is an inexplicable experience. This is so hard for me, yet so magnificent and humbling. I, personally, have always been able to express myself so extensively with my words. It is not something you can talk to about with anyone, because no one will understand your journey, physical or personal. 

I have come a long way, I have allowed myself to be extremely vulnerable by being in different countries and airports. Not knowing a language, and walking through a city that isn’t mine has left me feeling open and free. A city that is full of words and whispers and shouts that I cannot decipher has also left me with a sense of isolation from everyone in my life. 

I have come to appreciate being alone, hearing my own thoughts as well as managing them. I have faced my fears of being by myself and doing things on my own. I have come to understand that some relationships end simply because they must and that letting go is easy if you let your soul wander. Letting go of memories, feelings and simply enjoying the moment can heal old wounds, as if they were never there. I stopped thinking of what I was going to tell people afterwards and just breathed and absorbed the moments. 

I truly believe this was all meant to happen. I also think that the end of a journey is a journey in itself. My thoughts: where to now? What should I aspire to? I am rootless, curious and I am not leaving or coming anywhere, merely travelling.

This trip was built up over months and it was my purpose. Yes, I have missed my friends and family terribly, but I have also seen and done things that they cannot understand, only hear about. This journey was mine, and mine alone. This was an experience I shared with my best friend and it will remain with me forever.

I feel different in many ways, I accepted who I am-or rather who I am not. I feel old and young and new and like there is still more of me to learn about. I’m nobody. I’m not done.

Songs of The Day:
Always Gold-Radical Face
Holocene-Bon Iver
The Prayer-Kid Cudi
Como Tu No Hay Dos (Prod. Dj Tra)-Dj Buxxi
And We Danced-Macklemore
No Sleep-Wiz Khalifa
Somebody That I Used To Know-Gotye
If I Ever Feel Better-Pheonix
Our War-Neon Trees




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