Musings

You have this person in your life. I can almost guarantee it.

You have this person in your life. I can almost guarantee it. The people who lie or hurt us, be it intentional or not. They make these mistakes over and over again. They just keep f*cking it up.

“I’m done,” you may think or say to those around you. Because some part of you believes it, you want to move on, no one wants to be hurt a million times over. 
They manage to suck you in again, apologise, tell you what you want to hear, they want to be good for you. Then somehow they add insult to injury by making this mistake again or doing something equally hurtful.

And maybe one day, like me, you’ll spend nights awake thinking how much better it would be to let it go. The end is the end, and it’s funny how we can feel it coming.
You’ll finish it out of your own, and for once you’ll be in charge of this relationship .
But they find a way to fall back in to your life, maybe when you least expect it.

Trust is a precious thing. You can try to trust someone who has once hurt you but subconsciously know they aren’t going to ever live up to your expectations.

My heart is heavy. I want to believe, but I don’t think I can.
He’s probably different now, people do realise their mistakes, they do alter their behaviour.

But now I am different, I have realised my mistake of letting him suck me back in every time, I have altered my behaviour.


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